When I initially wrote this song, I had no idea it would turn into the song that would witness the transition of my beloved dog Vegeta. Part of me already knew it was coming. Her health was going downhill very fast, and the trip to the vet was just a confirmation and a last attempt to keep her in this physical plane.
After her passing was complete and I got back to work, I heard something I never heard before in this song. You see, I wrote this song for my former partner, realizing that in our hardest moments, all I wanted to feel was his love. Just a hug, a smile, actions that are so simple and yet hold immense power.
But after Vegeta passed, all I could think of is how much I would miss her physical presence; her soft fur, her sweet smell that felt like home, every little detail I can remember. I don’t want ever to forget any of those details that made her who she was. And as I was hearing the song, it was like it was her singing to me! How could that be?! It was my own voice, lyrics written so many years ago, but she was singing to me: “In your darkest moments, my dear human friend, all I ever wanted was to feel your love, your embrace, your smile. But you were so lost, so consumed in your own pain that you never noticed.”
And I cried, so much. I’m still crying as I write this. Because I never thought about how much my pain (and my focus on my own pain) was hurting not only me, but my former partner and my dearest fur companion. She could feel the tension, the pain. So many times she was soaring high, but I kept my feet on the ground. All she ever wanted was for us to fly with her. That’s all our furry friends want from us, from us to live lightly, enjoy the simple things in this world, and to enjoy them with us, but I guess we’ll never know how.
Well, I’m learning, Vegeta. Thank you so so much for being such a patient teacher.
You’ll Never Know, out May 23rd 2025. Pre-save it now!